f e s s u p .

BLAH

2007-12-03T22:36:00.001-08:00

2007-07-25T01:50:00.000-07:00

sigh.this is way bad.
whats wrong again?
the people who are lyk closest to my
hearts are making me feel this way.
all of a sudden,its lyk there's no one
i can share my joy or sorrows with.
including my family.
its wierd.lyk some communication
problem.i tried to share with them
some joy and all i got back was a
scolding.&i havent even gotten into
the ending.so they dont know the ending.
&i refused to tell them again.i felt
that i didn't have proper communication
for a long time,so i decided to update
them on the recent stuff &events at sch.
&all i got.is this.dissapointing.
GODBLESSTHEM-
so i guess,there's no need
for me to speak much
to them anymore.it feels better
than getting scolded for
a happy ending.too bad they
have no idea abt the ending.
&im not sure if they will.
&it dragged from yst to this morning.
so i wasn't really in good mood for 2 days.
RARH.nvm.its wierd.we cant even communicate
with our parents.before we complete anything,
they assume the worst.&there goes,.. *POOF!*~

2007-07-16T03:09:00.000-07:00

damn crappy these few days.
everyday go see piano
for a few weeks liao.finally settled down
with an UPRIGHT GRAND.lol.we actually paid for
two pianos loh.then the other
piano my mum dowan lerh
then refund.Du-hh.tmr got some pop quiz.
but anw,YEAH.we got
an upright grand limited edition!!
er,h. quite costly luh.the other one orig.16k++
then this one 1.3k more.sigh.so sian/.
i've been in a bad mood since last week luh.
can't _ just shut up??!!?
got so many shyt to say one meh?!!??
ARGH//just go and die.
pekchek.stupid asshole spoil my week.
right.migrating church soon.
this is bad.i din go church the whole of last week.
cell & service;nomatter what i think of,
i only want to stitch _ mouth up.
& dont return.
sutpid luhh.im such a sinner.
jesus christ paid for it.
DANG!&i was accepeted to god
by his son's sacrifice.better make
the best out of it.i'll be a GOOD girl.
we'll see; o.O

2007-07-06T04:51:00.000-07:00

im feeling lyk im lost
amidst a stack of hay
ARGHH!!helpHELPhelp!!
suddenly lyk got tons of decisions
to make.&i dunno which are
the right ones.this is downright
P A T H E T I C
lost-meaning,no direction
so ,.. stagnant i guess.
lyk i cant do anything luh.
i nid god's grace!!&&the holy spirit
to help me make the right decisions.
i'll never want to regret any shyt.
i've been lyk preparing myself for
something i really yearned for.
but turns out,ppl who mean alot to me
start discouraging me.instead,ppl
who dont appear everyday in my life
become the good guys.HEROES-.-
but now i know what im looking for.
i'll make what i want mine;in no time
in a few years though.but whe it comes,
there'll be no regret.one issue's settled.
still many more to go!!
/.t o o d l e s.\

2007-07-01T04:34:00.000-07:00

B L A H B L A HH!!
sigh,im lyk no longer depressed.
which is a good thing.the pastors do a great job!
i was so damn pissed yst
but have since gotten over lerh luh.
WOMEN OF MY WORD.wth?
baby grand?upright grand?baby grand?upright grand?
if you know what im talking abt,
help me make a choice!<3
lala.i've been slacking alot lately&lyk
so hard to catch up luh.LBKsucks.alot.
NO OFFENCE.LBK could mean,LalaBabaKaka??
lol.anw,its GAME OVER!!

2007-06-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

my dad's lyk so into philosophy-.-
and those,.. meanings of life and stuff.
but they really make sense and allows
me to realise everything that not
everyone can.
shucks!pirates of the caribbean rocks!!
its out of the world,.effects are not bad.
its a bit comical though.i dont know;
but i think the beggar and thief song quite
nice while it resounds with the speaker system
in the theatre.start was quite freaky though.
the storyline doesn't make sense,anyway.
but,.thumbs up!!i didn't realise it was a
present then to past story until i watched it twice
but i slept through most of teh second though,
i am so not gonna walk unneccessary for a few days,
i think i walked until my ankle died??
sigh,nvm.. everythings' not easy.lol.
what am i talking//.??XOXOX!!

2007-05-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

gosh am i depressed again,
sigh.it struck me again.
my boo.HRMPHHRMPHH!
moodswings i guess.or mayb
i've got a screw lose;which i hope not.
the dreaded life.
the horrible rituals.
the gruelling routines.
the excruciating pain
the NO-life life i have to endure.
is there even a god?
if there is,why is the world
in such a state?
why am i always so demoralised?
why should i be?
why must god let me be?:'(

2007-05-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

tripleYEAH!!~

thnigs are starting to turn out right

all of a sudden.

does it have anything to do with

the wish i made the other day?

i hope.or mayb not,anw,its alright.

cos im starting to feel a twiny bit happy!!

good fer those who know why im

floating now.HAHA!!x)

gosh.sigh.but there's still sadness.

but it'll be over.

pple wont understand my plight.

GET THIS RIGHT!

everytime pple say they understand

but they wont know what i really

fell inside.how far could i go?

nutty n u t t y nutty

its never going to happen again.

lala.

shedoesn'tknoow

whatshe'smissing!!lol.

songsongsong-teenageDirtbagBabii

what am i doing?i oso nono.

just feeling a lil' high now.

?LUSTRE<3

GREENg r e e nGREENgreenGREEN

2007-04-21T06:17:00.000-07:00

sigh.this sucks so much.
DANG!!so full now.bloated liao luh.
dinner sucked.and my life sucks.
stress-filled.lols.
today went to njc with constance,
erv and haoqing.the sch so wulu.
wasted lyk so much time walking luh.
too bad i was damn broke.
loads of thanks to erv fer paying
fer my neoprints.gosh.i lost my specs.
and who knows where?
constance,changed alot.
i din't recognise her at all.
sigh.i am really darn broke liao.
the money in my wallet is owe ppl money de luh
and haoqing owes me 50cents-.-DORTS>
ltr,went to watch wild hogs with em.
still can luh.but i wanna watch freedom writers
and 200 pounds of beauty!!too bad can't make it.
sigh,it'll be cool fer us to go back fhps
then ask fer testi together!!
lols,..i so lousy.even erv n hq chance higher than me
DIE liao loh.they all so pro de.iq and eq sure higher
than me de!!hq's excuse to go ther,..damn lame.
but i guess mine is too.sigh.gosh.
i didn't ask a lame question luh.
so i need a proper reply.not a lame reply.
you get that?GANHAOQING!!??!!

2007-04-19T01:23:00.000-07:00

now,im beggining to wonder again.
did it just come because of affinity
or because they really needed me?
gosh,.. everythings getting dashed.
stripped out of my life.
non-existence.
the fear,the outrage,the hardship/
WTH.
sigh.tiramisu.it didn't make me happier today.
i stuffed it into the fridge after eating half.
choir is,..getting outta hand liaox.
sigh,..falling apart again,.?everything's drowning.
i relaly wanna know why IT happened and HOW it
came to me&and WHY it had to be me.
i can endure no more.i have no more confidence.
since when were they nice ppl?just a front bah.
i wanna kill myself.
to drown myself.
to over exhaust.
because of the tiredness.
i've had enough.
really enough.
i dont need more of those.
thankyou very much.

im breaking.

2007-04-16T03:20:00.000-07:00

sigh,.what's gotten me to this state?
im really depressed man.
i just saw something,which made me wanna cry.
not boogie.cry.
what should i do now?
hit the wall and kill myself?
stay depressed?
or fill myself with hatred?
i starting to stare into space and really wonder.
im floating,..my spirits flown out of me.
its left.will it return?i guess at least not for a long
long time.what is wrong??i wanna know.
im dying for an answer and a reason.
my LORD.please.let things work out.
please let everything be rite.
help me hold my future,securely,safely.
tears are starting to well up in my eyes;
when they flow;
i will watch;
when i cry;
i will let it all out;
it will all go;
it will all be flushed away;
the hurt;
the grief;
the betrayal.
what else could i say?
what does my future hold?
i desperately need an answer.
someone,tell me.
sigh,thanks alot,..for letting me drink them away,
but its back again.this feeling.

2007-04-16T02:52:00.000-07:00

sigh,.. i guess its really quite a long time
since i posted anything up here liao larh,..
gosh,.. the chocolate,.. was ok,.but the jolly
shandy was,..DIE>addictive luhh,..
its tastes a lil' like beer,..and the lemon,..LOL!!
sigh,.. internal conflicts,..
this will all end soon,..
JOLLYSHANDY!!JOLLYSHANDY!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
JOLLYSHANDY!!JOLLYSHANDY!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sigh,..TATAS!!*

open your heart<3

2007-03-22T03:23:00.000-07:00

life isn't turning out to be right.
not only fer me.but others as well.
i seriously begin to wonder wad god is doing to us.
playing with our lifes?i hope not.
EVERYthing is being r u i n e d .
RUINED!!crashed!-
its meaningless.i can't believe why all this is
happening now.just too many things.
too many that i am at such a loss.
lyk aq said today.even my spirit oso dunno0
go where lerh.can't concentrate properly.
my mind just keeps thinking abt those
stuff.stuff not even worth thinking abt.
peterTAn go confiscate my paper fer wad?
pple want to do work cannot mehs?
just get the paper and so again luhh.
everyday lyk sitting in a daze,..
those stuff just keeps floating around me.
days of comtemplation.but no solution.
to all of them.cos,..even though there mayb,..
but are they worth?i seriously would lyk to know.
great thanks to ..fer reminding me not to foll0w his
footsteps.so,.. this is putting others bfore myself/
i kill myself,.. others oso not dragged into it werd;
i wont suffer;cos at least i think that i'll have
no regrets.that's my h a p P i n 3 ss lerhx<3

:.my last.: